I remembered a time when I was wishing for a different car, got one, and it turned out to be one of the worst cars I ever had, always needed to be in the shop being fixed. In retrospect it was not a particularly good buy to begin with and the inconvenience and expense I experienced certainly made it a wish that I could have done without... but that was what I thought I wanted. After the fact, I realized that the older but more dependable transportation would have been a much better bet. Stay with the known when there is nothing wrong with it. That was lesson one and I was in my twenties.
That is but one example of how I have been wishing all my life.... Until now..... I have wished for something more in a lot of situations in my life and each time I find myself in the future wondering why I could not be satisfied with something that was good and true. Why would I always chase after something “more.” The answer to that came to me a couple of years ago when I was writing my second book, Confronting Your Best Self, I was a victim of Destination Obsession.
Destination Obsession is that need to look to the future always thinking things will be better in the future. This is how I had lived my life... thinking I would be happier if I were thinner or had access to more money, thinking that travel would make me happier, or expecting more out of relationships than the other person could give of themselves for whatever the reason. I would never allow myself satisfaction with my life exactly as it is now.
I began to realize that when we accept everything as good when we are experiencing it, then it is good. When we wish for things to be different, we are totally throwing away the precious gift that we already possess.
How sad when we do this. I find that “we” as a culture do this all the time in relationships. We have a great relationship going, whatever kind it is, friendship, lover, or even family and we throw in wishes for something different, something we think would be “better.” Well, better than what? When a relationship works, just let it work. Enjoy it! Be thankful for it! Revel in it! Don’t wish it were something it isn’t, be thankful for the something that it is, right in the NOW.
When you can accept and be thankful for all you have now, then you open yourself up to something better than wishes. You open yourself up to happiness. You open yourself up to long lasting friendships that are based on mutual appreciation of the strengths of the other person,... how you make them feel about you and how they make you feel about them. They become riches that you cannot buy with money.
So, the next time you find yourself wishing for something “more” ..... Take a deep breath..... several , if need be.... And give thanks to the Universe for giving you such a precious gift that you have. You can certainly want more out of a relationship, or want a better car, or a better job, or a better whatever, but don’t waste your time wishing something was different. Accept the gift you have NOW as being perfect for just what it is. And, you find that it will become all you need.
Something To Ponder