I am writing this the first weekend of November. I am not sure when it will be posted. This morning my heart is just so very thankful for all of my life that I feel like it is going to burst open. It was not always so. As I continued to reflect, I was going to simply make a Facebook post then realized that what I had to say was not going to be simple, nor was it going to be short.
I grew up in a family that was not particularly affectionate. I think that can be said of many households in the fifties. I saw parents who had lived through the Great Depression as children become intent upon creating a good life for my sister and me. They often did this at the cost of spending time with us, but that was not something that parents “back then” were concerned about. They did not dump us at baby sitters or at our grandparents so they could go do things they wanted to. They took parenting very seriously. I am not sure that was always a good thing, but it was the way it was.
I was not allowed to make many decisions about my life while growing up so when I was out on my own, my decisions were not always well thought out. I was mature enough not to make life altering decisions but I was not always aware of the repercussions that would come my way as the result of some of those decisions.
All of that being said, I married, had children, divorced, raised children, worked sometimes two or three jobs to make sure that my children were able to have opportunities as they grew up. I allowed them to make more decisions at an earlier age than I had. Once again, as I look back, I am not sure that was wise on my part either, but it was what it was.
I am now in that autumn of my life that I had discussed before. It is during this time that I am choosing to forgive myself for any poor choices I made because it has all led me right here to where I am right now. And right now, I am in a beautiful place in my life. I look around many times with the eye of a child. I allow all of nature’s beauty to wrap around me and put a smile on my face. I think of my family, which seems fractured at
times, and know that I love them and they love me. We may not always like each other, but we love each other, unconditionally. Then I look at friends. I look at the ones I thought would be here forever in friendship and find that their definition of friendship and mine are, indeed, very different. I look at those who began as simply acquaintances who have become strong allies. Then I look at one special man. One who stepped into my life and has stayed to become one of the most special people I have ever been fortunate enough to know.
It is because of all of the beauty of nature and the beauty of my friends that I can remain so very happy these days. I get messages from Facebook friends whom I have never met and my never meet who encourage me. I get pleasure out of interacting with them and offering them a listening ear when they need it. It is because I am making a positive difference in the lives of others that I am able to receive the love they send out.
This is the way to live! So this year, as I look back, I can appreciate all of those friends. The ones who stayed as well as the ones who did not, knowing that they were all a gift to me when I needed them most. What I am most thankful for, however, is that I do not find it necessary to dwell in the past, in the ‘what might have been” but rather hold to the “what is right now” and simple LOVE IT !
Something To Ponder