This week, this particular saying has come to mind as I contemplated the reminder that two people I had thought were friends were more like pyrite than gold. It happens with us all and sometimes more often than we would like to admit. In both cases, I tend to think the fault of the demise is in my hands. It is not. When those people come into our lives and prove themselves to be unworthy, the fault lies with them.
In the first case, I was sitting at a coffee shop, and the introduction came out of nowhere. We had interests and dreams that we shared. I was asked to join him in helping achieve his dream, and after consideration, I agreed. I felt that In this partnership I would also benefit because it would strengthen my skill set while helping him. We worked together well and established a friendship, or so I thought. After we legalized our partnership and continued to build a business, it did not matter to me that I was working more hours. I had the time, and we were friends and business partners.
We expanded into other areas, and I was gaining more and more contacts and was honing my skills. He was no longer involved in the process. I had other friends who pointed this out, but I was not ready to hear what they were telling me.
It was after a year had passed that I knew the partnership was not working but I continued to think it might work because I was offered enough crumbs to make me think the interest was still there on completing the project he had begun. It did not turn out to be what happened. After refusing to discuss the termination of our association, I took it upon myself to dissolve the business. It was the end of what I had seen as a friendship two years previously.
The glitter and glitz of an interesting beginning did not withstand the test of time. There is much resentment and disappointment I could hold on to, but what purpose would that serve? It would only eat at me and interfere with my ability to achieve. What I am doing now is a reflection of the work I did during our partnership. He did not develop a skill set, I did. He did not develop the network and associations, I did. He had issues and still does that were hidden from me. He was a perfect example that “all that glitters is not gold.”
One would think I would have learned, but for a very brief time, that history began to repeat itself. I met a woman that was recommended by an acquaintance that I should meet. She was interesting, and we both seemed to feel we could work together. We traded time with each other and exchanged what I felt was a mutually beneficial promotion. I brought her customers interested in her service. It was like a slap when she indicated out of the blue that I had not helped her but only took from her. After my initial shock, I simply released any feelings I had and realized that she had an agenda that would not have been healthy for me in the long run and I gave thanks that it had ended as quickly as it had. It was yet another reminder that “all that glitters is not gold.”
How many times will I need this reminder? I guess I will need it until I learn the lesson. And, that lesson has been learned. I am working with a network of men and women now that is interested in quid pro quo... value in exchange for value. Those who want to support and encourage me and ones that I can support and encourage. It is wonderful when we have those difficult lessons presented and pass them with flying colors.
Something To Ponder